Betternooga: Four reasons why the rink will make us ice-tacular

News that involved ice skating and Chattanooga in the same sentence skidded across the headlines last week. Could it be? A real live Lake Placid come south? Christmas miracle of miracles! Yes, Virginia, there will be an ice rink in Chattanooga, too.

Here are four reasons why this little ice rink will make Chattanooga better.

Finally, something else on skates is coming to CHA. 
For the love of a triple Salchow, "Disney on Ice" cannot be the only skating-oriented event in Chattanooga. Disney-brand furries and Arabian knights on skates are impressive, but the barrage of princesses and $18 cotton candy with Mickey Kool-Aid chasers do not entice. Please don’t tell my children that "Disney on Ice" even came near these ZIP codes. I couldn’t seem to clear a Sunday afternoon to take my littles to McKenzie Arena for the tour. Move over, Angelina. There’s a new Maleficent in town.

The oft-desired sno-cone of many dollars and cents at "Disney on Ice." (Photo: Mike Overall, Flickr)

The ice rink will be a great oasis from the holiday shopping mayhem.
Just think, you’ll be queuing nine deep in the checkout at Big Lots. You’ll be sweating under your winter layers right behind the poster lady for "Extreme Couponing," trying to suppress your register rage just so you can score the bargain basement dealio on duck tape. Suddenly, the urge to be anywhere else will strike. Instead of committing vehicular homicide in the parking lot, you drive straight to Ross’s Landing, rent a pair of skates, and all your Griswold holiday woes will soon melt into the crisp December air ....

Hockey Chattanooga league gets some free advertising.
I’m so thrilled to learn that the puck-masters of this league will be the ice sherpas of Ice on the Landing. Being stewards of the community can only boost support for their goal of getting a real rink, like the Cool Sports arena that Knoxville boasts. On second thought, though, this probably sounds like an invitation for my kids to make a hockey mom out of me—the kind who have to drive their kids to 4 a.m. practices and stand around shivering and never warming up during said practices. It probably will invite comparisons to Sarah Palin (shivers some more). Let me ponder this some more.

While I’m letting this idea thaw out, here’s my final reason Chattanooga will be better because of this ice rink. On this, I’m absolute:

Children of Chattanooga will have one more career aspiration to add to their list.
Tell me you didn’t want to be a Zamboni driver when you were little. The smooth pirouetting of that ice cruiser, painting over the choppy ice rink with a glistening layer of sparkling new ice liquid, was pure magic. Wait, what? You’ve never heard of a Zamboni? Please. As of Nov. 28, go ice skating at Ross’s Landing. I bet you a hot chocolate you’ll find out.